Addressing Sexual Bullying Before It’s Too Late

Some people think it’s “just teasing,” but those who have experienced sexual bullying know how painful it can be, both physically and emotionally.

Bullies can be found in every school and playground in our country, but what some people see as typical kids’ behavior is becoming more serious than ever. Last April, an 11-year-old boy from Massachusetts hanged himself after enduring sexual bullying. Just 10 days later, another 11-year-old from Georgia became a victim when he took his own life after facing anti-gay torment in school.

Dr. Dorothy Espelage, professor at the University of Illinois, told the Oprah Winfrey show that what Carl and Jaheem experienced was really a form of sexual harassment. “Sexual harassment is calling others these names of ‘gay’ and ‘fag,’ and when you do that, directed to boys, it’s the most hurtful thing you can do to attack their masculinity,” Espelage told Oprah. “When you call a girl a ‘whore,’ a ‘lesbian,’ it serves the same purpose.”

Dr. Espelage said half of all bullying in elementary and middle schools involves the use of gay slurs. “Kids use these words really not knowing that there are serious short-term and long-term consequences.”

The deaths of these young boys exemplify how sexual bullying can have devastating consequences. The 2006 Massachusetts Youth Risk Survey found that lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth are up to four times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers.

Fortunately, the emotional crises that so often precede suicides are both recognizable and treatable, and kids can learn how to access help before it’s too late.

An organization that offers round-the-clock support to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth is the Trevor Project. This organization operates the Trevor Helpline, a free and confidential crisis and suicide prevention helpline service that operates 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 866-4-U-TREVOR. The Helpline’s counselors are trained to listen and understand without judgment, and also help youth find supportive organizations and groups in their area.

In addition to operating the crisis and suicide prevention helpline, The Trevor Project provides online support to young people through the organization’s Web site, and also provides lifesaving guidance and vital resources to educators and parents.

”Defamatory language about sexual orientation and gender identity continues to erode the self-esteem of young people, and its consequences can be fatal as this incident so clearly demonstrates. It is time for both bullying and suicide to be addressed as the public health crises that they are,” said Charles Robbins, executive director and CEO of The Trevor Project. When it comes to preventing suicide, friends and family members are often the best resources. Therefore, learning to recognize the signs and symptoms can be essential when it comes to saving lives. The Suicide Prevention Resource Center (SPRC) lists the following warning signs and corresponding actions:

Call 9-1-1 or seek immediate help from a mental health provider when you hear, say or see any of these behaviors.

  • Someone threatening to hurt or kill him/herself, or talking of wanting to hurt or kill him/herself

  • Someone looking for ways to kill him/herself by seeking access to firearms, available pills, or other means

  • Someone talking or writing about death, dying or suicide, when these actions are out of the ordinary for the person

Contact a mental health professional if you witness, hear, or see anyone exhibiting any one or more of these behaviors:

  • Hopelessness
  • Rage, uncontrolled anger, seeking revenge
  • Acting reckless or engaging in risky activities, seemingly without thinking
  • Increased alcohol or drug use
  • Withdrawing from friends, family and society
  • Anxiety, agitation, inability to sleep or sleeping all the time
  • Dramatic mood changes
  • No reason for living; no sense of purpose in life


© 2010 Screening for Mental Health, Inc.