“All young people, regardless of sexual orientation or identity, deserve a safe and supportive environment in which to achieve their full potential.”
-Harvey Milk

The following excerpt is from “Dear Trevor”, an online, non-time sensitive Question & Answer resource for young people with questions surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity.

Dear Trevor,

My mother is the most important person in my life. I love her more than anything. Two months ago I told her I was gay. I still remember the look of disgust she had on her face. She kicked me out. Now I live with my older sister. I can’t take it anymore. The person who told me I was worth more than money just abandoned me because I didn’t want to pretend anymore. Everyone at school found out that I was gay and they treat me horribly. I got beat up in front of the principal and HE DIDN’T DO ANYTHING because he hates gays. I want to crawl into a hole and die so badly. Tell me am I crazy for wanting to die?

Dear Waiting for Happiness,
We, here at The Trevor Project, are very glad that you reached out to us during this extremely difficult and painful time. You show a tremendous amount of strength by being proud of who you are and continuing to fight for yourself despite the hurtful actions of your mother and the people, both the students and principal, at your school.

When someone experiences rejection from the most important person in their life, namely your mother, and is beaten up, there may be a desire to escape from all that pain and anguish. It’s very concerning that in your desire to escape; you are feeling that you want to die. It is very important for your safety that you tell your sister or another responsible adult with whom you feel safe about these thoughts. In addition, we urge you to call the Trevor help line immediately at 1-866-4-U-Trevor. Our trained counselors are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to talk with you about all the difficulties with which you’re dealing. They will also work with you to keep you safe and help you get the support you need.

Please remember that we’re always here for you at The Trevor Project to support you and talk with you about any difficulties you’re experiencing. Please don’t feel that you don’t have to go through this alone.

This true story is like that of many lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) youths today, who feel trapped, afraid and hopeless. They often feel alone in their struggles and don’t know where to turn for help in a time of crisis.

Why You Should C.A.R.E. (Connect, Accept, Respond, Empower)

• Suicide is the third leading cause of death for young people ages 15 to 24.
• Young people who identify as lesbian, gay or bisexual are four times more likely to attempt suicide than their straight peers.
• If a young person comes from a rejecting family, they are eight times more likely to attempt suicide than their straight peers.

Teachers, counselors and other school personnel can make the difference in these critical situations by creating an environment that teaches tolerance, acceptance and equal rights. It can be as simple as speaking up when students repeat homophobic or anti-gay remarks to playing an active role in ensuring that educational programs promoting a respectful and emotionally healthy school climate are in place at your school.

It is important to remember that just being LGBTQ does not automatically make a young person more likely to attempt suicide, but because these students experience ongoing homophobia, rejection, discrimination, bullying and negative messages, their overall risk for an attempt is heightened.

What Should You Look for?

To ensure the safety of the children and young people you care about, it is vitally important to familiarize yourself with the warning signs of suicide, because suicide is preventable. Keep an eye out for:

• Signs of depression (prolonged sadness, loss of pleasure in activities that were once enjoyed and changes in sleeping and eating habits).
• Expressions of suicidal feelings or the development of a suicide plan.
• Hopelessness about the future and helplessness to make things better.
• Isolation from family and friends.
• Self-destructive behaviors such as alcohol or drug use, risky sexual behavior and reckless driving.
• Behavior that might indicate that someone is making final arrangements, such as talking about one’s funeral or giving away prized possessions.

It can be tremendously helpful to empower youth to get help, including talking with a counselor or therapist and calling The Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386.

Meg Ten Eyck has worked in a variety of positions throughout the nonprofit sector. Her experience includes group facilitation, program design, event production and curriculum design. Meg joined the team at The Trevor Project in 2010 following her work with Independent Support Services where she providing community integration services for clients with developmental disabilities. Meg has a background in social work and research methodology and is pursuing her Master’s in Public Administration with an emphasis in LGBTQ policy at The City College of New York.